This page provides a number of free videos and other resources for parents. They are all intended to help parents become aware of what is happening inside of us when we react to our kids, and to make choices from that awareness. This framework is based on Internal Family Systems (IFS), the emerging understanding of the personality founded by Dr. Richard Schwartz.

Please click on the Images to be taken to the link.

If you are unfamiliar with IFS please watch the Introduction video followed by The World Inside so that terms used in later videos will be familiar.

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We now know that what we call the “personality” is a system. Like any system it has different parts. Dr. Richard Schwartz called this the “Internal Family System” because our different parts can operate like members of a family.

This video series aims to help us get to know the different parts of us so that we can learn to parent from our “best Self”.

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Here you can learn about how the different parts of us work together, the jobs they do. All of them want to help, sometimes they can “Hijack” us. You’ll earn what burdens are and how parts take them on (and how we can release them). You may get clarity on why you sometimes say and do things as a parent that you later regret, as well as learning ways to minimise that and/or make repair when it happens.

 

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Series Overview:

If you are already familiar with Internal Family systems (IFS) then these three videos describe the content of the 9 videos in the Parenting series. 1: (1-3); 2: (4-6) and 3: (7-9)

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The Parenting Series

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Further Thoughts

Sometimes listening inside can be challenging: If there are unhappy young parts of us does it mean I need to revisit what I tell myself about my “happy childhood”? Often an exile’s biggest fear is that “My parents did not love me”. If that is there remember: it is only one part’s experience. Derek talks about how protective parts don’t necessarily love other people (it’s not their job) and can create disconnect. He also describes why making an apology can be so hard for some.

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More Free Resources

This is a book that uses stories and fun activities teach children about the various concepts of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Each short story uses an experience of a child to demonstrate the concepts and also introduces a parental figure that uses Self-leadership to work with the child. Lois says, “Ideally the book should be read gradually by a child and his or her safe caretaker under the guidance of a professional familiar with IFS.”

 

 

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Please click on the image to see a brief animation illustrating parts that can typically get activated between parents and teenagers.